emacs.d/clones/lisp/www.cliki.net/The Dying Programmers.html
2022-10-07 15:47:14 +02:00

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<span class="hidden">CLiki - The Dying Programmers</span>
<div id="content"><div id="content-area"><div id="article-title">The Dying Programmers</div><div id="article">One morning on #lisp we did some mental and creative warm-up by wondering
how programmers die in their respective programming languages.<p>Alas, of course we know we are immortal, we can't DIE in that sense. But what
do we do instead when we shuffle off the mortal coil? Here are some hints:<p>&lt;emu&gt; "Java programmers don't die. They just throw without catch."<p>&lt;Jabberwockey&gt; C programmers don't die either. They segfault.<p>C programmers don't die. They get cast into void.<p>&lt;dankna&gt; Basic programmers gosub without return.<p>&lt;dankna&gt; What do Lisp programmers do?<p>&lt;emu&gt; unwind-protect<p>&lt;Jabberwockey&gt; Basic. To boldly goto where no programmer has written code before...<p>&lt;emu&gt; Lisp programmers never die; they just call a restart<p>&lt;Jabberwockey&gt; APL users don't die either. They get mumified in case anyone ever needs to decipher their programs in the future...<p>&lt;emu&gt; Jabberwockey: no that's perl<p>&lt;emu&gt; Jabberwockey: actually, not even they could understand what they wrote<p>&lt;emu&gt; APLers don't die; they just become another operator<p>&lt;Jabberwockey&gt; emu: Haskell users don't die either. They get caught by a guard.<p>&lt;emu&gt; nah, they're too lazy to die<p>&lt;emu&gt; Lisp programmers get garbage collected...<p>&lt;emu&gt; ML programmers are frozen<p>&lt;emu&gt; haskellers get curried<p>&lt;emu&gt; so do MLers tho<p>&lt;dankna&gt; SQL programmers don't die, they just unwind the transaction.<p>&lt;Jabberwockey&gt; Prolog users don't die, they get cut<p>&lt;emu&gt; they backtrack<p>&lt;emu&gt; C++ programmers don't die; they have to read template code forever<p>&lt;emu&gt; so finally, Java programmers don't die; they just degenerate into primitive types<p>&lt;Jabberwockey&gt; Visual Basic programmers don't die. That's what the MS API is for.<p>&lt;emu&gt; Kernel hackers don't die; they panic<p>&lt;Jabberwockey&gt; Mozilla programmers will die when they reach version 1.0. In other words: never.<p>&lt;Jabberwockey&gt; IRC-using programmers don't die, they just QUIT<p>&lt;dankna&gt; "... they just get lost in the netsplit.<p>&lt;kt&gt; Bad programmers go on safari in flashy debuggers and are not seen again..<p>Smalltalk programmers don't die, they walkback<p>lispers don't die, for it takes eternity to understand the standard<p>asm programmers can't die, it's not in the instruction set<p><hr>
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